from the Wikipedia entry:

Selling out” refers to the compromising of one’s integrity, morality and principles in exchange for money, success or other personal gain. It especially refers to the attempt to increase social appeal or acceptability through this compromising. The person who acts in this way is referred to as a “sell out.

My friend Chris from NY – with whom I worked on a few Jon Fordham projects – is in town to 1st AC a low budget indie film. He crashed at my pad for a few nights and we had a little bit of time to catch up – see what’s been up with each other and how the rest of the gang back doing the film hustle are doing. The conversation shifted focus to what I’ve been doing the past year and what things will look like from here on out.

Now I’ve been very open on this forum about this topic, but I’ve only really discussed it with a couple of my film friends from the “old world.” There was a certain disappointment in his voice when I mentioned that it’s likely I’d be leaving the fellowship of freelance film professionals. He has known many creative folks who made the choice to leave the hustle for a lifestyle that would provid a bit more financial stability. Chris mentioned many of these guys had the intention of getting back in the game once things were handled. And to no one’s surprise, many haven’t come back. While he understood that people need to reshuffle priorities, I think he fears that people who make this decision are closing the book.

Chris is a good guy. He’s a great technician and has aspirations – like many people in the film industry – to write and direct. He realizes that he deals with crappy rates and uninspiring AC jobs are just the means to the eventual end of producing his own projects. But unlike me, Chris could never be a desk monkey. Because I’ve done it in the past, I don’t mind it. In most cases, I actually like it! I know I can excel in the corporate hustle which would not only provide me with the relative financial stability which has eluded me over the past 3 years, but can give me the means to support my passions (snowboarding and movies). He couldn’t see that I’m doing the same thing as he is – our methods of obtaining a paycheck just differ.

I assured him that there’s still a hunger and thirst for me produce my own projects. But I don’t need to be working in the biz to do it. Chris contends that being on the sidelines (working on sets day in and day out) keeps the fires burning for pursing his own projects. I feel that. But I know that though my motivation wanes here and there, that desire to tell stories and make movies will always be there. Besides, I have friends that won’t ever let me stop creating – friends like Chris, Jon, Albert, Chuck, Dave, Emory and Tess.

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