I subscribe to several screenwriting blogs and every now and again, they will mention some overused movie cliches conventions that you would see that either advances the plot or informs character development. Recently, Scott from GITS mentions a “running through the streets of NYC” montage and The Bitter Scrip Reader discusses the newscasters as an expository device.

As a kid who grew up on 80’s action movies, it would be those training/preparation montages along the lines of this classic:

…or like when Arnold gears up for the big rescue of his daughter (played by Alyssa Milano) in Commando. Sorry, I couldn’t find a YouTube clip of it, but it’s various shots of Arnold sliding a big survival knife in his boot, painting his face with tiger stripes, slamming a magazine into his machine gun, and hanging some grenades on a vest he zipped up a few cuts prior. There’s usually some dramatic horns with a snare drum in the back and throw in a few snap zooms for emphasis.

Now I was watching Defiance last night and realized there’s one that’s very commonplace in action/war flicks – the explosion next to a character who becomes temporarily dazed. It usually takes a moment to come to – usually due to another character screaming his name to get his attention. This device is pretty effective because it uses sound design and post-production to get its point across.

I’m sure this has been done prior to this film, but I really took notice during the Omaha Beach landing of Saving Private Ryan. It happens at around the 4:40 mark on the video below:

This sequence is cut in such a way that the audience becomes Capt. John Miller. They see what he sees and hears (or doesn’t) what hears (or doesn’t) all in a heightened state of consciousness. The sound goes in and out and you hear that eerie high-pitched tone after your ears get pounded by high decibel levels. You see another soldier trying to get his attention, looking straight at the camera to give you Capt. Miller’s point of view. Miller comes to and the sound is now back to what you would expect to hear in the middle of a fierce gun battle.

[NOTE: I should say that I've never been nearby when an explosion goes off, so the way this event is portrayed could actually be accurate. The closest I ever came was when a pretty large firecracker named an onion went off in a big steel drum next to me during a New Year's Eve celebration in the Philippines. I was probably about 5-6 when this happened so this memory isn't vivid, but I do remember that strange hum. No slow-mo, though.]

This is all great, except it’s becoming more and more common. Several years later, you would see a similar sequence in Ridley Scott’s Blackhawk Down and just last night, I saw the same sequence in Edward Zwick’s Defiance when the refugee camp was bombed by German plans. Same explosion nearby. Same close-up of the disoriented character (in this case it was Daniel Craig). Same other character getting his attention.

In fact, I’m curious if there was a similar sequnce in The Last Samurai. I can’t remember off-hand, though.

Don’t get me wrong – these sequences do a good job of breaking that wall between the audience and the character on the screen. The audience is supposed to experience what the character experiences. Put that on the list of cliches conventions you will likely see over and over again…until someone comes up with a fresh way to do it.

Can anyone else remember other movies that incorporated a similar sequence?

So if you’re reading this post with an RSS reader, then you probably didn’t notice the major change, which was in the look of the site. Recently, I found a photoblog template I liked and implemented it because I was A) looking for something new and B) intending on taking a lot more photos. Turns out that I’ve been blogging text more than photos so I decided to go back to the previous theme and just make some minor modifications. The colors for the header image are quite possibly the ugliest ever created in Photoshop so it’s just a placeholder for now. I really just wanted to get the css where I want it.

Also, I found a pretty cool WordPress plugin called Scrippets by John August that allows you to post certain scenes in screenplay format without forcing users to download a document.

As a test, I’m putting up two short scenes from an under-developed and thus unfinished screenplay.

Ever since the SF Giants baseball ended without a post-season cameo this year, it’s not surprising that I’ve shifted my focus to being more creative. I’ve been inspired to put together a super duper small project before the end of the year. To keep the production modest, Al-Jay and I thought perhaps the best option is to come up with a very short script, or even just a single scene from a larger piece to shoot. After all, if I want to be a writer/director, I should have stuff that shows I can actually do those things. And while it would be ideal to shoot a complete story, showing you can construct a scene wouldn’t be a bad way to show off your skills.

This led me to sift through some of my old scripts over the past 8 years. (WOW – it’s been that long since I’ve started on this film thingy) I came across a script I wrote that was meant to be my senior thesis film. Of course, this was before funding ran out and I had to take a break from school. The last time this file was modified was June 4, 2002 and it’s been at least 5 years since I’ve actually read it all the way through.

The script is in the same vein of Bryan Singer’s short film Lion’s Den in which pent up tensions flare during a brief reunion between old high-school friends. In my script, members of a now-defunct mobile DJ group are forced to deal with their interpersonal and internal issues when the group reunites to DJ a party for a common acquaintance.

Well, it shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone when I say that it was bad. Every writer – amateur, professional, or otherwise – will admit that the early stuff was horrible. I notice mistakes novice screenwriters typically make – expository and stilted dialogue, extensive action-description, non-distinct character voices (basically, everyone sounds the same), and unsatisfying cop-out endings.

And on top of these general scriptwriting faux pas, the theme is thin and the point of view narrow. Not to say that there isn’t value in a story about friendship, it’s just not as powerful when it’s obvious the author doesn’t really have a whole lot to say about it. This is the impression I got when I re-read Beats Per Minute. [I REALLY like this title - in fact, I stole this title for another script (still unfinished) because I didn't want to waste this gem on such a crappy story]

I know there’s value in looking back for signs of progression – shit, that was really the intent of this blog. It’s good I can look back and point out the mistakes. It shows I’m learning this craft – slowly but surely. I’m light years away from a good screenwriter, mind you, but I’ve also come a long way since then.

[NOTE: I was THIIIIIIS close (picture the smallest possible space between my thumb and index finger) to uploading a .pdf version of said screenplay, but I'm afraid that A) you'll laugh at me for how bad it is, B) you'll notice uncanny resemblances between the characters and my friends (who are also the ones who read this blog) and/or C) that you will tell me something to the effect of, "wait, I don't see the difference between this script and the stuff you write now."]

BTW: Cereal Monogamy is up on imdb now.

I read this post from The Bitter Script Reader today about character introductions and couldn’t agree more.

From the moment your protagonist shows up on the screen, the audience expects to see the character evolve (or devolve) throughout the course of the story. If the protagonist continually makes decisions that match the audience’s expectations, you run the risk of being cliche, predictable, and even unbelievable. Conversely, if the character always makes decisions against audience expectations, you run the risk of disconnecting your audience.

And as I gradually learn more and more about storytelling and the craft of screenwriting – via books, TV, and movies, I’ve come to understand it’s really about managing the audience’s expectations – finding the right blend of expected and unexpected character choices.

So despite a 2-hour production meeting for Steve Sprinkles’ Pincushion in the Valley, I was able to get in a two 30-minute writing sessions before calling it a night. I’m setting some rules for myself:

I set the timer for 30 minutes. For now, this is all that is required, but I can extend the session if I’m on a roll. But any additional sessions must be for the full 30-minute term. If I feel like I only have another 10 minutes of writing in me, then I’ll just stop there and save it for the next day.

Only writing programs can be open. In my case, I’m still working on the treatment, so I only have MS Word open. No iChat, no email, no surfing…period.

I didn’t have to do this today, but I will also keep a journal or notebook next to me. So in case I come to a screeching halt with the script, I can flip open the notebook or journal and write something – notes for character, or another script idea, or even a journal entry – anything. The important part is to keep writing.

I also thought it would be helpful to start tracking exactly what I changed/added to the story every once in a while. It’s pretty hard to track the day-to-day evolution of the story, so I think it will be a good way to evaluate effective each session is. (NOTE: this is mainly for me since the notes will be in shorthand and too lengthy to expound upon in this arena) As a primer, here’s a quick synopsis of my story, tentatively titled Losing Baggage.

Greg moves to New York to live with his girlfriend but discovers she is cheating on him. Convinced he has made a mistake moving in the first place, Greg looks for the next flight back home. Of course, there are no flights back to his hometown for a few days, so he impulsively decides to spend a weekend with Kay, a girl he meets at the airport, who was stood up by Alex – who happens to be married – for their weekend rendezvous. In the vein of Before Sunrise/Sunset, Greg and Kay roam about New York City learning about each other, themselves, and the importance of connection.

TODAY’S UPDATES:

• Taqueria menu gag – shows how “safe” and “predictable” Greg’s decision-making is
• Kay’s family lies – Greg notices inconsistencies with her “story” about her reasons to be in New York
• Greg and Liza’s fight – Early in the story, you don’t see what happens when Greg finds out about Liza’s cheating. This scene glazes over what happened. I’m still unsure how much of this I want to show. What happens isn’t quite as important as how he reacts to it.
• Greg’s subway ride – Instead of taking a cab into the city the first time, he’s taking the subway. I’m saving the cab ride for both Greg and Kay together.